Some days I find myself screaming, “YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE!” {at my kids, but only in my head}. I grew up on a farm. We worked HARD, and sometimes I feel like my kids are sissies. {If you ever tell them I said that I will deny it}.
Do you ever have a day where you are bound and determined to teach your kids responsibility!?! I know, it’s impossible for it to happen in one day, but tonight, I was having one of “those” nights. I wanted to teach my kids what the world was all about. Who knows if I’m doing it right, heck, I make it up as I go.
Tonight, I taught Connelly {my 8-year-old son} how to cook Ramen Noodles. He is old enough. He was up for it, and heck he even remembered how to turn the stove on from the last cooking lesson over a month ago.
So even though Ramen Noodles isn’t normally something to celebrate, tonight it definitely was worth celebrating! He did a great job!
While I was on a roll, I put my 9-year-old daughter to work too. We decided to eat outside, but we needed to clean up the patio table first. It was disgusting.
She got our handy-dandy outdoor cleaning supplies and got to work. All of these Proctor and Gamble products can be found at The Home Depot.
Oaklyn was thrilled with her task, as you can tell by her enthusiastic face! {sense the sarcasm}. 
Actually she really is a great help around here. She does a good job cleaning, and she did a great job tonight too. 
Our table was gross.
But, it only took a few seconds to clean up and then we were ready to eat Connelly’s….ahem…home cooked meal. He was very proud that he made the Ramen all by himself, and of course the other kids were thrilled. We are living the American dream. Ramen Noodles for Dinner! Follow us on Instagram to get daily updates of our randomness.
We had a great family dinner outside in our backyard. Do you have any tips on how to teach responsibility to your kids? We still use our chore chart religiously, but we need all the help we can get!
Leave a comment below telling me a tip on how to teach your kids responsibility and you will automatically be entered to win:
A #ReadyDoneClean Prize Pack that includes:
· Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Outdoor Pro
· and $50 The Home Depot gift card
{Thank you Proctor and Gamble for providing the prize}.
This post is sponsored by Proctor and Gamble and The Home Depot. All opinions are 100% mine.
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Winner: Comment #32
Consistency is key. I think if you start off with a consistent message with chores and helping around the house and taking responsibility for your things (ie toys, bed) then kids learn from an early age that is just the way it is. I also think leading by example and making it fun are very
I’ve always encouraged my kids to help out right from the time they were toddlers. Eventually it is more habit than chore.
I had both my children to have to pay half of their car insurance whenever they started driving.
I just made my daughters chore charts today to teach them responsibility.
We have a job chart. They are all assigned “zones” in the house. That is how they earn money and we even teach them to save and balance their money.
My baby is only six months old, so teaching responsibility hasn’t been high on my list of priorities, but I’m trying to gather ideas now before we reach that age!
My daughter is still too young to instill responsibility but when it is time, I plan to start off the same way my parents did with me and my sisters. Taking care of our own possessions. Toys left on the floor are subject to being stepped on and broken or at mercy of the dog who is always looking for m
I teach my children responsibility by giving them some chores to do and some animals to take care of! 🙂
I *try* to have our young children help me with all my tasks around the house. Once I see that they are able to do the job well, it’s theirs. Also, we ditched the play vacuum and bought a cheap stick-vac. It’s small and light enough that they can vacuum the wood floors with ease. They love it, they do a pretty good job, and they feel really special knowing that they are “big helpers”.
Motivate children to think sustainability. Kids are increasingly more sensitive to the perils confronting the Earth. When you help children become involved with sustainable projects, they learn to take responsibility for their personal impact. Kids also learn that regardless of how small, their actions matter. These earth-friendly projects can range from participating in recycling programs in your neighborhood to planting trees in local parks, creating compost with your family’s food scraps and conserving water and energy at home.
My three year old gets excited when she sees im in the laundry room..she cant wait to help put the clothes in the washer and the dryer! She helps with other things too and tells me cheerfully “Ill help you Mommy..Im a great helper!” lets hope it stays that way! 🙂
My kids are only 2 and 4, but they get excited about helping with meals and prep….so I ‘let’ my little boy help with setting the table for dinner. Something I do is to include them as much as possible in what I am doing and then they want to ‘help’ with everything! 😉
My daughter is still too young to instill responsibility but when it is time, I plan to start off the same way my parents did with me and my sisters. Taking care of our own possessions. Toys left on the floor are subject to being stepped on and broken or at mercy of the dog who is always looking for more playthings. Same goes with clothes and shoes. Then laundering your own clothes, grocery shopping, dog walking, and tending to the garden. If I could do it at a young age, so can they!
It’s not always easy as my kids get older and more busy. The day to day chores are difficult with their schedules but I was reassured recently when we had a fund raiser in our backyard and they all pitched in and offered tons of help. I was glad that when it came to helping someone, they realized the importance and didn’t complain about working all afternoon and evening to get it done.
Blessings,
Ashley Rane Sparks
I’m a new mom so I am preparing to embark on this journey of teaching my daughter, but I plan to encourage her to help as she lends a hand and support her from the shadows so she feels that I trust her because trust is very important!
I teach my kids to do their chores by explaining that if they want the rewards
That this family has ie. outings, meals out etc.
they need to contribute to the work we must do
As an active family member. You don’t want to
Actively participate in chore time..you won’t get
To actively participate in ice cream time either 🙂
We all pitch in as a family and switch chores around so everyone gets a chance to learn a new skill!
My kids started chores as toddlers…first by taking the clothes out of the dryer and putting them in the basket. Then moving on to putting away any of the dishes out of the dishasher that they could reach. Chores are just part of being a family.
This is definitely something I need to work on with my kids. They like using cleaning “stuff” so that really helps.
When we get home, before my daughter can go out to play, I have her pickup any dirty clothes in her room, put away backpack or daycare items, pickup around the living room and help water the garden. She does most of it while I’m getting dinner stuff ready. Once she’s done she knows she’s all
Darn–my first attempt didn’t go through! :/ Both of my kids learned at a young age to be responsible, respectful members of the family! Part of that process is doing chores. This is important because they are an integral part of our family. My son learned how to clean the toilet, effective as it made him nauseous. Now, at 16, he is a pro at cleaning and “hitting” the toilet! :). My daughter learned to do laundry. I made color and picture charts and taped them to the door of our front load machine. Detergent, water levels, and sorting were part of this chart and it worked beautifully. Cooking and meal planning were included from the time they could add. Planning a meal, budgeting for groceries, and preparing the meal are important parts of being a part of our family! I can proudly say my kids could live independently if they ever (God willing they will never have to) have to live alone for some reason! I’m so proud of them!
Make chores fun. Play music, set a timer, snap before and after photos, write chores on colorful slips of paper and let them draw from a hat. There are a zillion creative ways to incorporate a bit of fun during clean up time. Most importantly, when they’ve done a fantastic job, pile on the praise.
My 6 and 4 year old boys make their beds (almost) every morning. I tend to be tad OCD when it comes to how things look, but after they make their own beds I resist fixing their attempts. They feel their attempts are worth their effort, and so do I.
My daughter is only 17 months, so we’re still working on it! But she does really well with picking up her toys and putting them away in her toy bucket, and then dumping everything out again…I guess we’re still working on it. Haha!
Thank you and I’m sorry letters are a great way to teach a child responsibility. They need to acknowledge a monetary gift before they are allowed to spend it and, when they have done something wrong that they absolutely knew better, an apology (in writing) is necessary.
We have always tried to teach our kids to be responsible for themselves, their behavior and the things in our home. My 5 year old brought a book home from school that she left out and our little one ripped the cover off of it. Because she was irresponsible with the book she had to use her own money to buy a new book for her teacher to replace the one that was ripped. She learned her lesson and has been obsessed with picking everything up since then.
Start early! We raise our children on a small farm and our 3.5 year old helps in the garden, feeds the goats with me, and is involved in most chores. She has been involved on a daily basis and knows it is a part of life and she loves it. I grew up being taught responsibility at a young age and knew that was how I wanted to raise our kids. Making them a part of the chores in a fun way helps them to feel important. My daughters help me cook and are 1.5 and 3.5,but I have made an effort to have them involved in helping even though it takes more time. The result will hopefully be an enjoyment of cooking.
I have a chore chart that I use for my children. So each week the children know what they are responsible for in the home.
I have always used a chore chart ! They can all go look at what there chores are for the day and get them done !!!
We have two children and they rotate their chores every other week so they don’t get tired of doing the same thing all month. They are responsible for the care of our family dog and of keeping their room clean. I will only do their laundry but they are responsible for folding and putting away their clothes…”Many hands make light work”….
Since my children were little they have always had responsibilities. We don’t call the chores, “chores”. We call them their responsibilities. We also give them weekly “jobs” which they get paid daily to do IF they have also taken care of their daily responsibilities.
The funniest way that my son learned to be responsible was, when he was about 7, he loved to watch cartoons in the morning, but it was hard to get him ready for school on time. So we made a deal, he had to be ready to go to school except for shoes on before he could watch cartoons…Well, that kid would wake up at 5am, be dressed, brushed (even teeth lol) then he would sit down with his cereal that he got himself and watch cartoons.
I wasn’t thrilled with this arrangement, but a deal was a deal….and he wasn’t late to school anymore!
Consistency is key. I think if you start off with a consistent message with chores and helping around the house and taking responsibility for your things (ie toys, bed) then kids learn from an early age that is just the way it is. I also think leading by example and making it fun are very helpful.
I too have taught my boys since toddlers the importance of responsibility. Clean up after yourselves started at age 11/2, hold the door for a stranger, by age 4, come home from school and do your homework started at kindergarten. Now, they are 15 and they do not have chores. Yep, you heard right! They have responsibilities! There is no allowance at the end of the week but the feeling you get from just doing the right thing is more reward than money. They are expected to be responsible because they have always been responsible. It is a knowledge we teach our children and the biggest lesson is to teach by example.
We love to make chores fun my having music playing and singing while we work and we try and work in the same room
Together so we can stop and dance together or dance while working. When they are having fun they get a lot more done without realizing it or they do a much better job because the fun it taking away the this is hard and boring work attitude. I also have them do jobs that fit the age well like washing table and chairs, picking up toys vacuuming under the couch cousins things they can see progress in.
My kids are still young but I let him “help” me fold the laundry and have them do chores I know they can accomplish 🙂
We don’t give our kids an allowance (nothing wrong with giving one, we just chose not to). They do have the opportunity each week to earn money through our chore chart system (and can lose it for specific, predetermined poor behaviors/choices/attitudes). We keep a jar that money goes into when they have to pay, and that money goes toward a coffee date for Dad & Mom. We have a bonus incentive for putting in a pre-set amount of effort (which is reflected in the number of points earned throughout the week). We didn’t start out with this goal, but we have noticed that one side benefit to the other ways this system has taught responsibility is that they really think twice about how they spend their money. We also borrowed a concept from a parenting video series: we became “yes” parents in the store, as in “Yes, you can have that (gum, toy, treat, snack, etc.) – when you have the money to pay for it.” This has brought them leaps and bounds ahead in thinking about whether or not their wants are worth it to them, and has blessed us with a few less “Can I have” questions in the store 😉
We do our chore chart, wich helps keep track of everything! A small allowence helps keep them motiveted, but honest to good ness I belive that by living by example is a must. Putting to practice what we teach has really helped out in our house. Many blessings to all and thank you for all your inspiration. I love your page.
My almost 4yr old son is a great helper with his 10mo old sister. He knows that as her big brother, its his job to “protect her, mostly from herself. (she has no fear) He also knows that if he does not pick up his toys when we ask him to, then they go in The Box. He has to help momma or papa do 1 chore in order to get 1 toy back. He also loves to help with the laundry by pushing the atary buttons and helping me put the dryer balls in. He is always very quick to throw old tissues or dirty diapers in the garbage too. I tell him that if he wants Momma to help him with stuff ,then he has to help her too.
I have taught all my kids from a young age sort and wash laundry. I 100% trust my 15yr old to do any load of laundry that comes our way. they also have daily chores around the house.
I’m not quite sure how to say this; you made it exetlmery easy for me!
My son has always had age-appropriate chores that he were his responsibility. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t need reminding. His allowance was a huge motivator.
Everyone needs to have jobs to do around the house. We all live here & we all made the mess. There are jobs everyone can do whatever their age! =)
My kids are 7 and 4, I’ve always had them put away what they were doing first before moving on to the next thing. They help sort clean laundry and help put away some of the dishes. In the spring we try to make a game of collecting sticks from the yard. These are chore type things, but for personal responsibility we talk about respecting and caring for yourself. This includes things from bathing to doing homework. It will always be a work in progress.
I have four grown boys and I taught them responsibility by allowing them to make mistakes and to learn from them, by saying no sometimes, and by not giving them everything they wanted. Also, by helping them to be proud of a job well done.
We have a chore chart and try to play games
To make things fun my kids are pretty competitive
They like to race each other we love Home Depot what a great give a way
We’ve used a chore chart for my son and my daughter is now old enough to use on too. We don’t do too bad during the school year but we slack off over the summer. I’m determined to make this year different!!!
I make my kids pay for anything that they want and I give them what they need. Like a cell phone my daughter was 18 till she could afford one, not something she had to have to she had to earn it by getting a job and paying for it.
I have 4 kiddos so I can totally relate to wanting to teach them responsibility and actually having a little help. They are all expected to make their bed each morning. They also can’t go to bed before everything is off the floor in their rooms and put back in the appropriate place. I also have a personal laundry basket for each one and they are responsible for taking their own clean laundry back to it’s proper place each day. I think that motherhood is the most rewarding yet hardest job I’ve ever had in my life. 🙂
My daughter is not quite old enough at only 14 months to learn responsibility but for the future we intend on having a chore chart. Additionally she will pick one meal a week that she will make. She will then be responsible for making a grocery list for the meal and will get money to purchase her ingredients. I have seen this work for others and I think it is a fun way to teach planning and budgeting along with cooking.
chore charts where they earn technology use rewards or loss of and also maybe taking them to do volunteer work to learn appreciation which might lead to being more responsible.
My main goal has always been to promote the atmosphere that we all live in the house, we all need to participate in helping to keep it clean. With my older kids, I find that it helps if I tell them at the start of the day what needs to be accomplished by 3pm and they can choose when to do it. Also, I let my daughter browse organizational pins on Pinterest…her room has never been cleaner!
Be a positive example. As moms we need to watch what we say and do. Being willing and not complaining goes a long way!
My oldest is 2 so we’re just starting to teach responsibility and respect for family/home/belongings/etc. Right now she loves helping to prepare meals, sweeping and mopping, dusting and more. She’s only 2 so she doesn’t do a great job (I wish she did because I’d love to not have to mop! Lol) but it’s a start. Soon she’ll realize how much work I do to keeping a decent looking home for my family and she’ll hopefully appreciate that and how hard her daddy works to provide her with what she has!
A prompt Thank You for a gift is a must even if it is a phone call. They are taught to do their won laundry and basic cooking skills. If grandson leaves his things about, they are subject to being put away for a time. He really doesn’t like that.
I have my 3 year old son set the table, put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and help take care of our cat by feeding him or letting him inside or out.
We have a routine that is performed every night before Daddy comes home, which is guaranteed to leave the house sparkling. The kids love to put their toys away when we sing a song to get it done, and I appreciate the mess-free living room.
My son has daily chores to complete!
We just started a chore chart at our house too. Our kids got to choose a pack of stickers and get to mark off all the chores they did each night.
To teach my kids responsibility I have them work alongside me on all cooking/cleaning projects as possible. It really helps them learn what goes into maintaining a home.
I make my two year old clean up her toys.
I don’t have kids yet, but raising them to be responsible is something that will be very important to me when I do.
Thanks for the great giveaway!
We make chore lists. My boys are getting busier and busier (12 and 10) so we have one deep cleaning day on Saturdays and basic “keep the house clean/tidy” lists for the during the week. They are involved with dinner (sides and main dishes) and do laundry. We don’t give allowances because keeping the house clean is a family effort, but do give them extra opportunities for earning cash for bigger jobs (fridge, garage, ect.)
Cleaning is overwhelming to me {and everyone else in my family, apparently}. So on Saturday morning we take an hour and all clean the house together. We listen to loud music {which makes it fun} and tackle rooms in teams. Everyone has the jobs they love, so we do those first. Then we work our way through the house together. When we get to the other side we celebrate and eat lunch together. They learn new ways to clean because they are working along side an adult – and we just teach as we go. When Monday comes, I am a much happier mommy knowing I don’t have to start my week by cleaning my entire house. It’s already done…and it usually lasts until the next weekend. Sometimes we miss a weekend if we are busy or out of town, but we can usually make it until the next one just fine.
I had my son start doing his own laundry at 9 years old. It teaches him responsibility and lightens my chores 🙂
Try and make it fun. My girls know it is expected for them to help clean up. We also have a job chart
wow, you sound just like me. I too grew up on a farm, and had lots of chores, and think my kids will never make it on their own. I always did it myself and now I wonder why I did that they don’t know how to drive to jump in there and get stuff done. I did start with baking, that seems easiest. And if they get it out, they clean it up and put it away. I try to have them empty the dishwasher, so they know where to find things in the kitchen too.
I also make a chore chart for the kids. They like seeing stars on their chart when they complete a chore. And it makes my life a little easier!!
Good for you! I get so tired of some mothers who have to do it all and then martyr about it. Your kids will have one less stressed out and happier mama. Bravo.
She did a really great job. I hope your guys enjoyed your dinner
My parents did all kinds of chore lists when I was a kid from having us work in pairs to having to clean the kitchen one week at a time. Also, on Saturdays they would put out a list and have the kids divide it up, which worked really well. As others have said, music helps make it fun. Once I started babysitting, I had to buy my own clothes and any special products I wanted (make up, shampoo other than what my mom bought etc). I also liked this as it gave me more choice and control. Hopefully, I’ll come up with some creative responsibilities for my 8 month old as she gets older.
When children begin to show an interest in helping is a good place to start. Toddlers enjoy helping fold clothes, sweep, cook, to name a few.
I remind my two girls that I am not their personal maid! We have a timer and set it for 10min and everyone picks and cleans up!
We’ve started young – at 1 1/2 years old, my kids have always wanted to help, so I’ve started them all with helping unload the dishwasher’s silverware tray (minus sharp objects, of course!). The silverware ends up being dumped in the drawer, but they are so proud of themselves and feel like they are helping. As they’ve gotten older, we’ve slowly added chores such as setting the table, getting out condiments, making beds, and cleaning up toy areas. My husband and I figure that although our kids are only 5, 3, 2, and 3 weeks, if we start early with chores when they want to help (even though it might make our jobs a bit longer), when they are in junior high and actually can be more helpful, they’ll be used to working and it won’t be a new concept.
Our oldest is only 2 now, but I think of instructing her as putting on lots of coats of paint. Just one coat or reminder to “put your shoes in the shoe basket” is not going to do it. But over time, and lots of coats, it becomes just what we do, a habit, not a chore. And lots of praise for listening well, doing things the first time she’s told or without being asked, etc. The more mama barks,the less effective I become, I’ve found.
My daughter is 3 (as of this Saturday coming up) and I give her “forced” choices and it always seems to work. (Example) Do you want to clean up your dolls or clean up your play food? It never fails that when I give my daughter a choice instead of demanding her she listens and helps. Thanks for sharing yours!
~Carrie
I’ve been trying to get a plan together to guide my kids towards responsibility. Cooking lessons are the most fun, but probably the most messy!! It is nice, though, to sit down to a meal we all worked together to make. After realizing that there are grown ups out in the ‘real world’ who don’t know the basics of taking care of themselves and their personal space, I decided I had to make sure my kids have all the skills they need. And, i have to say, I am THRILLED to have their help as they learn 🙂
Here goes. My kids get no phone until they can pay for it, phone and monthly bill. They also get no car until they can pay for it. They also have to be able to maintain the vehicle and purchase all the gas themselves. They also get the pleasure of paying for their own insurance. It sounds tough but each of my boys have managed just fine. The youngest son worked a 20 hour a week job, purchased a $1500 truck, pays for the insurance, and his cell phone, and just graduated high school with an Associated Degree from SUU, and I promise he is smart, not a genuis, but smart. He really had a tough time with math but he has still managed to play along the way and have a girlfriend also. It can be done and it should be done. All three have turned out to be highly responsible and very appreciative of what they have.
My little one is just 2 so right now so singing the clean up song works wonders for her! Ha ha probably won’t last too long sadly
My older girl just turned 3 and she already has chores (I know I’m a mean mama!). It’s mostly just picking up whatever mess she’s made, and I help as long as she’s working too. I have to be specific though – if I tell her to clean her room, she just ends up playing. But if I tell her to put all her blocks back in the box, she happily obeys.
We are really encouraging our kids to do everything they possibly can on their own. We were using a bean jar to reward them for doing things on their own.
We have our 3 year old help with easier age appropriate tasks like dusting, picking up toys, making her bed (with help). She has fun doing these things because we usually do them together. She also sees how frustrating it is when her 1 year old brother destroys the toy closet, so shes actually pretty good about keeping their things organized– according to her 3 year old standards 😉
ahhhhh, teaching responsibility. does it ever end????? i fault myself for ‘doing it all’ i cook and clean and do laundry bc i just want kids to be kids. but i can see that this isn’t helping them. so im always reminding myself that i can have them do chores- i always did!!! my son (8) got in trouble the other day so i made him wash dishes. he enjoyed it!! lol that backfired, huh?! lol
now to get them to stop whining…
Our son has always been pretty helpful around the house so we were lucky I guess! I do remember teaching him how to change his own sheets on his bed weekly and how that naturally flowed to keeping his room clean!
My twins are 2-1/2, and so far they’re not responsible for much – just picking up their toys, which is hit or miss 🙂 I’m currently gathering ideas for ways to give them more responsibility!
We work cleaning into our routine. My 3 year old doesn’t do a lot (and truthfully I can’t keep an entire 24 hour routine) so when she wakes up she makes her bed, changes for the day and puts her clothes in the laundry room. It’s small but it works for us!
We’ve done lots of different things. We’ve had chore charts where we’ve paid for chores. But my boys are now 12 and 14 and while they still have chores they don’t get paid for them. They get paid for doing things without being asked. This way I am rewarding them for thinking and looking at things that may also need to be done but aren’t on the chart. We also make them buy all their expensive electronics themselves. They learn to be responsible with their money to save up enough and then they learn to be responsible with the care of these items.
Start them early. If they can walk then they can help with all kinds of things. Like laundry, dishes, picking up toys, working out in the yard. Animals are also a great way to teach responsibility. Don’t go overboard on them though. And of course always talking with your kids about helping from the time they are walking and just starting to talk is great. They understand more than we think. My granddaughter who is 23 months old helps with laundry, puts her toys away, helps her dad prune their roses and help in the kitchen when mom is in there. Help them understand that having a home is not a luxury but a privilege and everyone needs to help. As they get older add to their household chores. I never got paid as a kid to do my chores. My mom always had extra things we could do to earn money. We got allowance every Saturday morning, $1.00, and my dad taught us how to put some in savings and have some to spend. Doing everything for your children will only hurt them in the long run. Some day they won’t live with you anymore and then who will clean their homes or do their laundry or vacuum their room or fold their clothes, etc.
In my family, someone cooks and someone else cleans. The same person should not have to do all the chores. Nice division of labor.
I’m the mean mommy. They have to either help with food prep or dishes post-dinner, or they get sandwiches for dinner (this came after a looooooong battle about doing the dishes, being grateful for the food in front of you [i.e. complaining ain’t cool] and general pain-in-the-butt-ness.
I’m teaching all the boys that if there clothes are not in the hamper, they won’t be washed. My oldest has learned how to throw in a load of his own stuff and get it all the way back to his room to put away. I’m so proud! Of course, he also loves to clean toilets, so he may just be an anomaly.
We had a hard lesson learned just the other day. My oldest HAD two fish, a goldfish and a pleco (sucker). Now, the goldfish has survived since he was won as a little feeder back in October. The pleco was thriving. UNTIL. I noticed that there was food floating around in the water. Like, chunks ladies. We had the talk about leaving brothers’ fish alone, and how they only needed 1 flake of food each day. Well, the poor pleco went belly-side (he died while attached to the side of the tank) from all the nasty spoiled fish food floating around the tank. And they will have to buy their own fish to replace him this time.
We have a “you live here” chore chart which is basically every day responsibilities. Keep your room clean, make your bed, brush your teeth, dirty clothes in the hamper” type of chart. The we have a 50 cent chore list. They can do one, can do all or do none. But if they want to earn money, this is where they earn it.
So far, So good!
Lead by example, by taking responsibility for your actions they learn to do the same. As far as cleaning the house, we haven’t gotten to that part yet. We have a newborn 🙂
i Have my kids feed the animals every morning. We only have 2 dogs and cat, but theyknow every morning that they have to feed them and when they get home from school my oldest Ashlyn has to load the dishwasher and my youngest Caidyn has to scoop the litter box and straighten the parlor. after lots of fighting about it, it has start to become habit……………… either that or they are just sick of listening to me yell… LOL
I would say start with small tasks…like putting away toys or making their bed and compliment them when done! Even if you have to sneak back in and do it a bit better….thats fine! Start with smaller things that they can do and feel good about it once done! I like to try to make it fun if we can by singing as we do it!
From the time my girls were little, they always helped around the house. We taught them that helping out is part of being a family. It is their duty and right. They always picked up their toys, helped dusted, took care of pets, etc…Now that they are older (19 & 16), they each have their chores. Another great thing is to have them make dinner once a week when they are older and twice a month when they are younger. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but they learn to appreciate the effort and time that goes into preparing a meal. It also helped them to be thankful for a hot meal instead of a cold sandwhich…they don’t ever complain about what is being served.
Another thing is that when they turned 15, they were responsible for all the yard work and we paid them the going rate of the local mowers. When they turned 16, by them doing the yard, we paid for their car insurance, gas and a car. They were responsible for mowing, weed eating, trimming, blowing the grass, picking weeds and watering which can be quite a task here in Texas. But, they both never complained and even enjoyed the satification of having the best lawn on the block. They took pride in the lawn. They would come in beaming when other lawn people would ask if they maintain the lawn and tell them they do an awesome job. I should say that my girls are very girly girls, but they did a fabulous job. It taught them responsibility, ownership of a job, and diligence.
The first thing I taught my kids how to make by themselves was Ramen noodles too! Now we’ve moved on to “microwave mug cooking”. My boys are teenagers & they’re always hungry. I taught them how to make Mac & Cheese in a mug and they love it…there are lots of ideas out there but our favorites are the Mac and cheese & the french toast in a mug. A few minutes in the microwave & they have a nutritious meal will less mess for me to clean-up. WIN-WIN
Giving kids chores around the home is a great way to teach them how to be responsible. My 17 yr old has been doing the cooking lately and is really enjoying it. And so am I of course.
I’ve always let the kids help me with baking & now they can cook simple things for themselves.
When they had problems in school with a teacher or just understanding a lesson, tried to instill that they had to learn to deal with many different people and problems they had never encountered and tried to teach them they had to adjust and if they could understand the question, they could find the answer.
So first they had to articulate the problem, could not find shoes? why? too messy or did not remember; therefore clean room, and put shoes same place.
Kids need to help with daily chores around the house. They are part of the reason there are more chores so they need to contribute to getting them done.
I ask my young children to help out with chores around the house. They are at the ages where they actually still enjoy it! And I love when my husband takes our son with him when he builds fences or cuts down trees or other outside jobs. They enjoy the father-son bonding and I appreciate my son learning by example the value of hard work from his dad 🙂
They have chores to do before they can do anything fun each day:)
It’s better to get them used to helping out when they are young. It can be very difficult if they get older and haven’t been taught that they have a part in chores. Great job!
Clean up after your self.
Chore chart momma all the way. Even the 2 1?2 year old helps make his bed:-)
My girls just turned 3 and 4 but they have to pick up the toys if we have a playdate. I told them when friends come over with babies we need to have a safe house for them to play in. The girls take that responsibility seriously. Also they unload the cutlery from the dishwasher after I take out the knives. We use a chore chart for behavior and personal hygenie. It works well at this age to give them self confidence too.
My four year old loves to help me with laundry! He loves to sort clothes into the different piles and move them from the washer to dryer. He can actually sort laundry better than my husband so I let him help!
I like to have my 2 toddlers try different chores, making beds, putting away clothes, and dishes. They like to sweep and dust too. They like to help and I like to change it up so it’s fun.
I try to teach them responsibility by teaching them that there are consequences for their actions. Also just being willing to discuss why a behavior is acceptable or unacceptable. I think a lot of people just let things slide especially when they need to address behaviors.
Thought provoking question. 🙂
My kids have a Wii addiction. Before they earn their Wii time they must do their chores and have also stayed in green zone during the day (green zone means they’ve been well behaved, good listeners, kind to others, etc). They are so motivated to help out around the house when they know they can earn some time on the Wii.
I am training my kids to put things away when they’re done with them – no dropping stuff in the floor for me to step over!
We taught our children responsibility by assigning them age appropriate chores. They received an allowance each week. We encouraged them to save so they could buy special things. By special things, I mean items that we felt were somewhat pricey for everyday purchases. We used this as a learning experience for them. This taught them that you can’t always get something just because you want it, it takes work and sometimes sacrifice. We would also give them a budget for things like tennis shoes and if they wanted a pricier pair, they paid the difference. When my daughter was around 25, she thanked me for teaching her to be financially responsible. She said that at times it made her mad, but now while her friends are struggling she is doing well.
no kids yet, but if/when we do have them, I think we will start them young, give them basic chores, with the opportunity to earn an allowance with additional chores.
We teach our kids resposibility by having them help with “grown up” jobs. There is always something they (12, 9, 4) can do even in the biggest job. We are building a deck right now and everyone has been able to participate. It is fun sometimes, hard sometimes but in the end we all have something we can be proud of as a family.
We use a chore chart too, but I’ve added a piece that has been a big hit. I went to Party City and bought a roll of raffle tickets. The kids earn tickets for doing their jobs, for having a good attitude, being kind to each other, etc. BUT, they can also lose tickets for bad attitude, complaining, arguing, being unkind, etc. Sometimes they have to give each other tickets for teasing, hitting, etc. They HATE that! They can use their tickets to buy video game time, ipad time, ice cream cones, Happy Meals, etc. It’s working like a charm! They do their chores without complaining and they’ve been treating each other much more kindly. 🙂 Win, win!
My four and five year old boys love to be in the kitchen with me baking and cooking. They have also hit the stage of wanting every cool toy they see. We have started having them earn money thru jobs around the house. They have to put 10% in savings and the same towards tithing for the church then they are free to spend their 80%. This has made them yard sale junkies since they can get more bang for their buck than at the store. Those two can spot a yard sale sign a mile away!
My kids are probably too spoiled. We have tried chore charts and just about every other method. Now, we just sort of ask them (or tell them) to do something that needs to be done. My 14 year old is one you have to nag to get anything done and then it usually turns into a battle of wills (but taking away her electronics can motivate quickly). My 11 year old will do something well, but will try to weasle out of it for quite a while and usually try to delegate it to someone else. I have been really trying to give him chores to do to try and get him to learn to be a bit more responsible for helping. He is very good at doing his own self-care (gets up, dressed, picks up his own messes, etc. without any problem, it is other things he complains about around the house). My 8 year old is the best at being responsible for getting this done, you ask and he does it well. He will cook his own meal, etc. All my kid have learned how to cook basics (except the 4 year old). The 4 year old is the source of most of the messes around the house, hopefully he will outgrow this troublesome stage soon and he does like to help with chores when asked, but usually it is more work for me to have him help, but I let him as I want him to learn. He will help with laundry, mopping floor, sweeping, etc.
That’s the way I always did it too is with a chore chart because that is how my mother taught me. Thanks for the giveaway.
(smjohns63 at yahoo dot com)
Holy Cow! Lots of advice! The one aspect I didn’t see (sorry if it’s there and I managed to skip over it- squeezing in a couple minutes while dinner cooks through, lol) is attitude. My husband and I were both raised by “how not to do it” parents, so even though we’ve got two out of the house already, we’re still learning and improving for the next five! Anyway, a lot of us want our kids to have responsibility and do the jobs that we ourselves grumble and gripe through! We are more and more catching ourselves and keeping cheerful about responsibility- teaching the kids that working together means spending time together (good for those “teachable moments” and building our relationships with our kids) while taking care of what needs to be done. Kids mimic what they see done more than what they’re told! Hope that helps, too!!
My kids are 1 and 3 but we already have designated clean up times/days. My 3 year old is actually very helpful–he picks up laundry, dropped items, his toys, etc. A chart is something we really need to make and implement, though. It would be great to have them earn prizes by getting stickers for doing certain things.
my kids are young but I think having them help put away what they get out is important, a chore chart is also great for just about any age
My kiddos are still young, so we are working on the small things… Put ur plate in the sink, fold ur Jammie’s and put them away when gettin dressed, straighten your bed, etc. My kids hear the phrase, “I am NOT your maid!” At least once a day!! Hehe 😉
One of the things that we are doing relates to dishes. I was FED up with always washing so many dishes. I took the kids to DI and they each picked out one plate, one bowl, and one cup. I thought that if they got to have some choice in their dishes then they might be a little more enthusiastic than if they just had one from our current set of dishes. They are responsible for washing them after they are used or they don’t have anything to eat off of at the next meal. It has worked pretty well for the last few months.
We have a white board with each of our kids names on it. Each day after swim practice we come home to a list of chores to be completed before anyone can play, watch tv, play video games or anything remotely fun. It has become such a habbit now that the kids don’t even ask about it, they just do it!
We are honestly struggling with teaching our 8 year old responsibility. He’s with us 3 or 4 days every week, and the rest with his mom. It seems we barely get into the groove of things and it’s time for a house switch. SO, we’ve started giving him jobs that when he’s home, they are his and nobody else’s. If there is garbage to take out, he’s our man. And he always helps me with setting the table at dinner. It took over a month for him to get in the groove, but now he lays claim on those dinner plates like he made them himself.
For our toddlers and big boy, too, it’s basic, but works: whatever project, no matter what, they get to help. If I’m hanging coat hooks, they get to find the right screws. If I’m gardening, they have their own garden tools in hand. We wind up with a lot of messes, but they learn from cleaning them up.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, so I’m still a novice with parenting. One thing I did find is that my 3 year old actually likes doing chores. He is so proud of himself when he is able to start the washing machine and load up the dryer. He sometimes helps me clean the windows with his own bottle of Windex and rag.
I think teaching responsibility means giving kids something to be responsible for. And as a parent, I’ve learned that that may mean a broken dish here or there or a streaked window. But, that’s how kids learn and grow.