Today is my one year anniversary in my weight loss surgery journey. I had gastric sleeve surgery January 18, 2019. Although I know that weight loss surgery isn’t for everyone, it is the path I was guided to. Please be respectful.
If this is the first time you are reading about this journey, I encourage you to start at the beginning and read: Part 1 {The road back to me}, Part 2 {Ankle Surgery and…}, Part 3 {How I lost 80 pounds} and Part 4 {How I made the decision}. Plus, I did a FAQ video on my facebook page. Click here to watch that video. And while you are there, please like my Facebook page!
I have lost 135 pounds! That’s a WHOLE PERSON, and almost half of my body weight when I began at 290 pounds. I cannot even tell you how crazy that feels. I now weigh what I did when I got married 19 years ago. I cannot believe it. If you have questions, I am guessing that I answer them in one of those previous posts or in that video. But, if you have a question that I don’t address, please leave it in the comments, and I will answer it for you.
Looking back, having gastric sleeve surgery was the best decision I have ever made. But, the decision wasn’t easy. I constantly second guessed myself until I jumped in with both feet and never looked back. So, for those who are sending me messages that are in the middle of the decision-making progress, I understand. I wish I could give you a huge hug. I cannot make the decision for you, and it’s such a personal battle.
I have been criticized for “blaming” Satan for my actions. That’s the furthest from the truth. I knew I had made millions of mistakes. I let my thoughts about those mistakes get out of hand, and I honestly believe that I let darkness confuse, discourage, and influence me at times. Some thoughts I had while trying to make the decision, “I made myself this way, I deserve to struggle.” “Maybe weight loss surgery is defiling my body.” “You will never lose weight.” “You are not meant to have an active, happy life because you are lazy.” “Stop trying.”
Satan had me. I thought the worst things about myself. I look back at that time and I cannot believe how differently I feel now. Indulgence, appetites, guilt, hard work (yet feeling like I wasn’t doing enough) was a cycle that caused so much stress, anxiety, depression and unrest. Even though I know I’m determined, driven, a freakin’ hard worker, and not LAZY at all, for some reason, I thought the opposite of myself because of my body size.
I’ve learned a lot about food in the last year. I’ve learned that Satan uses food to make us feel bad about ourselves. I had no idea how far down that rabbit hole I had been living. I didn’t open up to people about it at all when I was in the depths of it. It felt sooooooo hard to talk about for me. It was a struggle that I felt I already broadcasted to the world through my size {which at the time topped off at size 22}, but yet it was something I didn’t and couldn’t talk about.I felt like I couldn’t “get control” over it no matter what I did. Yet I felt like I was trying everything!
I turned to prayer for reassurance that what I was considering was “ok” with God. I felt so lost and confused and kind of ashamed that I wanted to do something that felt drastic. As soon as I understood that I was “ok” in God’s eyes to go forward with surgery, everyone else’s opinions and voices disappeared.
This quote helps describe my feelings: “How do we know the things of the Spirit? How do we know that it is from God? By the fruits of it. If it leads to growth and development, if it leads to faith and testimony, if it leads to a better way of doing things, if it leads to godliness, then it is of God. If it tears us down, if it brings us into darkness, if it confuses us and worries us, if it leads to faithlessness, then it is of the devil.” -Gordon B Hinkley
Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery is honestly the best decision I’ve ever made. Here are some fun consequences:
- I no longer have a love/hate relationship with food. I LOVE to feed people even more so now.
- I am a better mom. I can keep up with my kids so much better, and being busy is no longer a chore. It’s a privilege. I don’t get wiped out by busy weeks. It’s kinda fun to have a full schedule.
- I have learned to have so much gratitude for having energy! I didn’t realize how “on empty” my energy tank was.
- I can wrap a regular sized towel around my body and it actually covers my nakedness! HAHA
- My skinny clothes are too big.
- I can wear regular socks and my ankles aren’t getting squeezed to death.
- I stole a shirt from my daughter’s closet and it fit!
- I sat on my husband’s lap and I didn’t feel like I was squishing him.
- My shoe size went down an entire size. I didn’t know that even my feet would lose weight.
- I can now wear necklaces. Before, my neck was too big to fit most necklaces. It made me claustrophobic.
- I can now shop in a regular store not just “plus size” friendly stores.
- I can now cross my legs. Before it was physically impossible, and I would strain to keep them crossed, or have to hook my leg on the table leg to keep them crossed.
- Painting my toenails no longer cuts off the air to my lungs.
- I’ve wanted short hair for a long time! I chopped my hair off! It felt sooo freeing.
- I’m not hot anymore! I’m not sweating to death at all times. In fact I’m kinda cold all the time and I need jackets constantly now!
- My ankle feels better. I’m not constantly aware of it anymore. It’s not healed, but it feels better for now.
- I no longer crave soda. In fact, it tastes DISGUSTING to me now. I’m very glad about this.
- Food that is processed has a “chemical” taste to me. I feel like my tastebuds are on overdrive.
Picture taken January 18, 2020. 135 pounds lost. 
Picture taken January 18, 2019 Biggest I had ever been. 290 pounds. 
I’m so grateful that the medical profession has this tool to help someone like me who felt stuck, helpless, and completely had lost hope. I’m doing great, and I have not regretted it once! I’m grateful for my Savior who when I came to him with this hopeless problem, and was in the depths of despair, took my hand and led me to a solution.
Thank you for celebrating with me! Xoxo
I will leave the comments turned on unless I feel disrespected. Please be respectful to me and others. If you have questions, I will answer them in the comments.
congratulations on the new you! Love your new hair,too!
You look beautiful and have a sparkle in your eyes. You should be so incredibly proud of yourself! I struggle with my weight and can relate to so many things that you mentioned. Thank you for sharing your story, and for being an inspiration to me, and I’m sure many, many others.
First of all, congratulations to you for taking charge of your health and your life in what was obviously for you, a huge struggle of more than just your weight…Secondly, if you get negative disrespectful comments, block those hateful trolls. There’s just no excuse for people like that! Go on living your life and have fun doing it!
Wow! Congratulations! What a transformation! “Behold, I make all things new…”
Just want to say you look fabulous!!!!! I’m so happy you are happy and that is so important in this world now a days sending you love and a super high five from Canada ?? ??
I just wanted to say congratulations and I really admire you for having the surgery. That can’t have been an easy process; I imagine the reality was even harder than what you’ve detailed online. I really am impressed that you were strong enough to make such a life-altering decision. Again, congratulations, and thanks for sharing your story.
Such a neat story and thank you for sharing it! Congrats on all of your hard work!
I love your quote by President Hinckley it can be applied to any person struggling with anything. Thank you for sharing a piece of your life struggle. They are real and we are amazing and better and stronger for them!
You are and always have been so amazing! Thanks for sharing your journey.
You look amazing!!@
I’m so. happy for you! WhT an amazing journey. Thank you for having to courage to share knowing some people would not be kind.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Congratulations and I am so envious I’ve been on the fence about finally doing it and I’m still not 100% sure but I think it’s the only way to straighten regain some other life ahead before I let myself get to 254 pounds that I am now I have limited mobility due to osteoarthritis of the knees and of course I have to paint all over my body I’ve let my kids life pass me by but not moving but not running but not even walking at times besides them and it’s been very painful to watch them grow enough actually take part in their lives my question is how are you doingDealing if you have any loose skin because I think that scares me more than actually being overweight having to look at my body for probably another year with the skin hanging thank you for sharing it’s a wonderful beautiful story
Check out the video I did on my facebook page. It’s linked at the top of this blog post. I actually talk specifically about skin, and I even show my stomach! 🙂
Brooke you have always been such a beautiful person inside and out. I just read ALL your story and am truly so proud and encouraged by you! Way to go lady!! You look so happy!
Congratulations! No matter how much weight you have lost, I don’t think it could make up for that beautiful glow that you have! My question is how tall are you?
Great Job, you look marvelous! But don’t start crossing your legs, it puts alot of pressure on them. Not a good habit. Keep up the good work . You deserve only love and praise. Darling hair.
Congratulations! Your journey has been inspiring to me personally! Thank you for sharing!
Congratulations!
I love the new relationship with food and having more energy. Such great results and you deserve it! Good for you, your family and life! Keep up the awesomeness and inspiration xo #hotmomalert
Congratulations on your weight loss!!! You look and sound incredible and I’m sure you’re an inspiration to a lot of people out there that are struggling with their weight. I love your haircut too!!!
Congrats, you look so great! Just wondering how you deal with food now ….I am always wondering if I need to see a food therapist. I’m on a good workout plan right now, but my relationship with food is still the same ? How do you handle not sliding back into old habits?
Thank you for your honesty!
I’m enjoying the fact that eating and eating and eating is not physically possible. 1 piece of pizza fills me to the brim. In fact, I can’t usually finish 1 piece. It’s nice because I can still enjoy food, but the amount that I can eat is sooooo much less. I know it may sound weird, but it has really helped my relationship with food! Because before, I didn’t have a huge consequence from overeating. I rarely felt gross after eating so much. But now, I have an instant consequence if I over do it. So, it has helped me to be aware of that boundary as I’m eating. I honestly like making food WAAAAAAAY more now.
You’re amazing and it’s been so fun to see all the wonderful changes, not only on the outside, but also on the inside! ?? congrats on all your hard work!
You were so brave to embark on this journey and the results are breathtaking! Thank you for sharing your journey …so inspiring!
Congratulations! You look fantastic!I had gastric bypass in April 2018. I took two years to make the decision making sure I had done my due diligence to understand exactly what lifestyle change I was choosing to make. No regrets at all! Everything you listed as non scale victories I could relate to! As you know, surgery is just a tool that assists you in making the right choices because it’s still hard work! But , with the changes and confidence gained life is so much better now! Thankful to the Lord for this opportunity to experience a healthier me! Your weight loss story is an inspiration! Keep sharing! And I love your short hair!
Would you recommend something like this who has battled with their weight for years, is older, has chronic knee pain, and has more of a sedentary lifestyle? I believe my mother could benefit from a surgery like this, but she has a fear of losing the weight and gaining it right back.
Yes absolutely!
Thank you for the Hinkley quote. I will be using it with my teen small group on Wednesday.
Brooke, I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I have followed you for years. I didn’t keep up with this blog for the last while, and I just read all the parts in sequence now.
I had no idea you were struggling with weight. You’re right that you camouflaged it well on the blog.
Weight is not really a significant struggle for me, though I also lose weight here and there, but I really relate to how you wrote about your feelings of despair and anger and shame etc, although for me they are for different reasons.
I won’t say it’s *nice* to read about other people suffering, but it’s reassuring to know that others also go through challenges.
I’m so happy that the gastric bypass worked for you. You have always been a beautiful woman, but now you look amazing, and I know what it feels like to be energized and healthy, and that’s a long list of positive benefits.
May this keep up and may you continue to be in good health and spirit. Thank you for sharing.